It’s been practically two years since The Umbrella Academy ended its second season on a cheeky cliffhanger. When our heroes returned to the current — triumphant after they’d saved the world in Dallas circa 1963 — they found that the timeline itself had been altered to take away just about every little thing about life as they knew it.

On this alternate future, the Umbrella Academy by no means existed. As an alternative, Reginald Hargreeves adopted a distinct gaggle of superpowered youngsters and known as them Sparrow Academy. It wasn’t precisely clear what all of this meant — the present hadn’t really forged the Sparrows but, so everyone however Ben appeared in shadow —however no matter they noticed, it was unhealthy sufficient to make a number of members of the Umbrella Academy say, “shit.”

How do you repay a cliffhanger like that? The season-three premiere has our reply: effectively, if not elegantly. The present begins with an data dump introducing us to the six new Sparrows (alongside Ben, who we already know). Just like the Umbrellas, they’re an eclectic bunch, with powers starting from predictable (Marcus may be very robust!) to offbeat (Jayme has magic spit that makes individuals hallucinate!) to, uh, very offbeat (Christopher is a floating inexperienced dice)!

Talking of Jayme’s bizarre energy: After a spit-induced fantasy that doubles as Umbrella Academy’s newest excuse to get the entire forged to bop to a catchy pop track — it’s “Footloose” this time — an precise battle breaks out. And whereas the Umbrellas put up an honest battle, they’re no match for the Sparrows. When the mud settles, our heroes run away to lick their wounds, leaving their very helpful time-travel briefcase behind.

After that very frenetic opening brawl, it’s at this second — 21 minutes into the premiere! — that the present’s title lastly comes up. After a kickoff that prolonged and action-packed, the present, like its characters, wants a breather. So the rest of the episode settles into one other considered one of Umbrella Academy’s most comfy wheelhouses: a cheerfully shaggy prolonged hangout session for the six Hargreeves kids, heavy on banter and lightweight on plot. With nowhere to go, it’s Klaus who means that the Umbrellas take shelter on the Lodge Obsidian — a once-luxurious, at the moment decrepit lodge the place the facilities embrace “sleeping on bunk beds” and “peeing out of home windows.”

This is a perfect location for characters like 5 and Diego to argue about what they need to do subsequent and for Allison and Vanya to swap recollections and sympathies in regards to the lovers they left behind in 1963. However as enjoyable as it’s to look at this household bicker, the Sparrows nonetheless pose a menace. Marcus noticed sufficient to know that the Umbrellas might break his staff’s monopoly on superheroic antics, and he’d relatively shut the brand new guys down earlier than phrase will get out.

It’s Vanya, with attribute pragmatism, that negotiates a détente. When Marcus is available in with threats, Vanya provides a peaceful however agency reply: “I don’t suppose you’re higher than me, Marcus. I ended the world twice. And also you? You’re simply meat in spandex.”

Who might argue? Actually not Marcus, who noticed Vanya take out most of his siblings with a single power burst early within the episode and acknowledges that the flickering lightbulbs are an off-the-cuff menace. For now, at the least, open warfare doesn’t serve anyone, which is nice information for anybody who needs to know extra in regards to the Sparrows than their superpowers (and excellent news for Netflix’s stunt finances as a result of that opening battle seemed costly).

However there’s one other, much less apparent menace that would show deadly to each the Umbrellas and the Sparrows. Within the basement of the Hargreeves mansion, a wierd, pulsing blob of pink power — described by Grace, the robotic who serves because the gang’s surrogate mom, as a “message from God” — is gaining energy. Because the episode ends, the blob sends a shockwave throughout the town, apparently obliterating each Marcus and one very cute canine on the Lodge Obsidian. In any case, what would a brand new season of The Umbrella Academy be with out one other apocalyptic menace?

• In the meantime, in a standalone story, a man named Lester Pocket places a bunch of cassette tapes in a briefcase and rides a bus. (I assume this can repay sooner or later, however it could be actually humorous if it didn’t.)

• In kids misplaced: Allison appears bafflingly optimistic about it, however there’s no approach her daughter exists on this timeline, proper? If I’m understanding the best way time paradoxes work in Umbrella Academy, Allison wasn’t even round to provide delivery to her.

• In kids discovered: Whoa, it seems Lila was pregnant with Diego’s child and now, by way of the magic of time journey, has an adolescent son. Assuming we will belief that Lila isn’t mendacity about this — which, to be honest, we in all probability can’t. Both approach, she leaves the child with Diego and bounces once more. Good luck with that sullen 12-year-old!

• That was Adam Godley narrating the opening scene, so Pogo have to be kicking round someplace on this timeline.

• There’s an apparent spark between Luther and Sloane, which looks like a welcome signal that Umbrella Academy is lastly abandoning the Luther-Allison sibling love story for good.

• It’s value noting that the title “Lodge Obsidian” may be very, similar to the third main arc of the Umbrella Academy comics, Hotel Oblivion.

• It might be a coincidence, however I’m guessing that Chet, the Lodge Obsidian clerk, is called in homage to the bellhop played by Steve Buscemi in the Coen brothers’ Barton Fink, who works at a equally rundown lodge.

• An entire record of the individuals Klaus alleges has stayed on the Lodge Obsidian: Roosevelt, Gandhi, Stalin, Gorbachev, Castro, King Olaf of Norway, one of many Kim Jongs, Tito, Dalai Lama, Elvis, and, allegedly, two Kardashians. (Your guess as to which two is pretty much as good as mine.)

• Music on this episode: “Generally” by Gerry Cinnamon, in the course of the Sparrow Academy montage; “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins, throughout Diego’s extending fantasy wherein everyone lower footloose; “No Extra Heroes” by the Stranglers, in the course of the precise battle between the Umbrellas and the Sparrows; and, eerily, Grace buzzing “This Little Mild of Mine” as she admires the bizarre gentle within the basement.

The Umbrella Academy Season-Premiere Recap: Apocalypse Quickly