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Soapbox: All I Need From Mario Kart 8’s DLC Is Extra Tracks Like Child Park

Soapbox: All I Need From Mario Kart 8’s DLC Is Extra Tracks Like Child Park

Baby Park
Picture: Nintendo Life / Gemma

As somebody who will get paid to have opinions about video video games, I’ve to test myself a good bit. Do I really like a specific recreation as a result of I am blinded by nostalgia? Am I kinder to a specific style as a result of I’ve a comfortable spot for it, even when a number of the video games are a bit pants? Are there builders who I am keen to forgive for his or her choices as a result of my feelings in the direction of them? All of us have varied biases, it is true.

However in the case of Child Park, I know I am proper.

Sure, I am very hooked up to Mario Kart: Double Dash!! on the GameCube, as a result of I cherished the GameCube, and I performed it to demise. I believe it is bought the most effective gimmicks (two drivers, distinctive objects) and a number of the greatest tracks (DK Mountain, Dino Dino Jungle), however I can be persuaded that I’m wrong on both those counts, as a result of there are many glorious contenders elsewhere within the Mario Kart collection. However you completely can not struggle me on Child Park. I cannot budge.

Gamecube Mario Kart Double Dash
Finest Mario Kart recreation, proper? — Picture: Nintendo Life / Zion Grassl

Child Park is sensible as a result of it is a distillation of every part that makes Mario Kart so good. It is a observe that is stripped right down to its barest essence; nothing however you, a number of different drivers, the occasional merchandise, and 7 laps through which every part is up for grabs. You must be not solely good, however near-perfect to come back in first — or simply fortunate, which is much extra probably within the chaos of shells and bananas that Child Park causes.

These hairpin turns require a mastery of the drift-boost, and there is all the time an opportunity that somebody who’s technically in final place, regardless of solely being a few seconds behind, can get one of many rubber-banding powerups and kick you into the grime at any time.

Different Mario Kart programs are marathons — three laps of cautious driving, memorising shortcuts however realizing when to not use them, and keeping track of who’s forward of and behind you — however Child Park is one thing between a dash, a hurdle race, and an impediment course. It is an interesting mix-up of what Mario Kart is all about, and… it is truthfully fairly bizarre that we’ve not seen its like since.

Baby Park
Do not present my automotive insurance coverage supplier this image — Picture: Polygon

It isn’t that we’ve not had course innovation. Mount Wario, for example, is an extended, linear, single-track course from begin to finish with no repetition, and that is kind of the alternative of what Child Park is all about. As a substitute of a good, quick race that is over in a matter of minutes, Mount Wario is a for much longer take a look at of talent. There’s extra course to memorise, and moments the place the race could be turned on its head by a single shortcut or collision.

Then, there are the programs that change, like Grumble Volcano, which crumbles and shrinks after each single lap. Immediately, your vast corners are too harmful, and it’s a must to be far more involved with avoiding lava than with discovering the right line. Hyrule Fortress and Thwomp Ruins allow you to unlock shortcuts through a collection of hard-to-pull-off tips, making the race partly about good driving and partly about hoping you may claw again the lead. And Piranha Plant Slide (often known as Piranha Plant Pipeway in British English, which I did not realise was a regional title) is a masterpiece of “OH GOD THIS IS TOO FAST”-ness that separates the Mario-men from the Child Mario-boys.

MK8 Course Wii GrumbleVolcano
Like it or hate it, Grumble Volcano is unquestionably inventive — Picture: Mario Kart Wiki

We have even had roughly a billion re-imaginings of Rainbow Highway… and whereas I believe they’re all improbable, and I really like the iterative nature of Rainbow Roads throughout the Mario Kart collection, I am questioning… what would it not appear to be if one other course had the identical therapy? A course like… look ahead to it… Child Park?

So, regardless of years of improbable innovation (that I am undoubtedly not simply going to write down off), we’ve not seen an excessive amount of of the Child Park style of programs — the quick, easy, quick type. And I believe that these may be my favourites, or on the very least, crucial palate-cleansers in-between the larger ones. I believe the closest we have is Excitebike Area, one other improbable observe that retains issues pared right down to deal with tips as an alternative of Child Park’s deal with drifting, however that is about it.

(And, for the report, I do not assume that the simplistic programs — just like the Super Mario Kart ones — are actually the identical factor. They’re simply flat programs, not hyper-distillations of driving mechanics like Child Park.)

I wish to see the programs get blended up a little bit with this Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Booster Course Pass DLC, however to this point, they’ve all been fairly protected — or “B-side filler”, as Ollie’s review of Wave 2 called them.

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Baby Park
Be sincere, do you lean in actual life when turning corners in Mario Kart? — Picture: Polygon

I perceive why Nintendo has determined to play it protected. Doubling the variety of programs in a Mario Kart recreation over two years is an insane endeavor, and if I am completely sincere, one they did not actually need to do. I believe the worth proposition of 25 or 30 programs over the identical time period, and even simply 12 programs over a 12 months, one per thirty days, would have been high-quality! However no, for causes we might by no means actually perceive, Nintendo has determined to place out 48 programs, and I am unable to complain an excessive amount of about it, as a result of it is extremely beneficiant. I believe a few of us simply would have most popular high quality over amount.

And sure, by “high quality”, I imply extra Child Park.

However now that we all know that a few of these programs, like Sky-High Sundae, can be completely new (or… partially new, a minimum of, as a result of it is also coming to Mario Kart Tour), maybe we are able to hope for some good ol’ long-established Child Park-style mayhem.

Is Child Park the most effective course? Do you wish to see extra skill-based tracks? Inform us your Mario Kart ideas (and your “different” solutions to the ballot!) within the standard place.

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